Sometimes, it feels like something’s holding us back but we can’t quite see what. It’s like hitting a wall that’s not even there. These walls are called limiting beliefs. They stop us from trying, growing, or feeling good about ourselves. They sneak in quietly thoughts like, ‘Maybe I’m just not good enough,’ or ‘What if they laugh at me?’ We don’t always notice, but they stick around
But what if those beliefs aren’t facts? What if they’re just habits of thought picked up from childhood, society, or past failures?
So how do we deal with these thoughts that quietly shape our lives? Let’s talk, honestly and simply. No big theories. Just real, practical steps especially for those living in South Asian homes, where expectations, fear of judgment, and “log kya kahenge” still shape our minds every day.
What Are Limiting Beliefs?
A limiting belief is a thought you’ve heard in your head so many times, it started feeling true even if it never was. They act like mental blocks, quietly shaping your choices, self-image, and future.
They sound like:
“I’m not good enough.”
“I always mess things up.”
“People like me don’t succeed.”
“It’s too late for me to change.”
You may not even realize you believe these things until you stop and look closely.
Common Examples in Our Society
In Pakistan and similar cultures, these beliefs often get passed around like family recipes. You hear them growing up. You internalize them.
Examples:
“Girls shouldn’t speak too much.”
“If you fail once, don’t try again.”
“Creative work is a waste of time.”
“Only rich people can be successful.”
They become part of the noise in your head, quietly deciding what you can or can’t do even when you don’t realize it.
Where Do These Beliefs Come From?
Limiting beliefs don’t start on their own. They come from years of:
Childhood experiences – criticism, rejection, or too much control.
Family beliefs – like “money is evil” or “you must always obey elders.”
School pressures – being labeled as average, lazy, or not smart.
Religious misunderstanding – confusing humility with low self-worth.
Cultural norms – being told to avoid shame at all costs.
Trauma – especially if you were bullied, neglected, or abused.
Over time, your mind repeats these ideas so much that they feel real even when they’re not.
How Limiting Beliefs Affect Mental Health
They don’t just live in your mind—they show up in your choices. You stop applying, stop speaking up, or start shrinking yourself in rooms where you belong.
They can cause:
Low self-esteem
Fear of failure
Avoidance of risks
Anxiety and depression
People-pleasing behavior
Chronic stress
You stop trying new things. You stay in toxic relationships. You overthink simple choices. Your world shrinks and your potential stays locked away.
How They Impact Daily Life
Here’s what this looks like in everyday situations:
| Situation | Limiting Belief | Outcome |
|---|---|---|
| Job Interview | “I’m not confident enough.” | Don’t apply |
| Speaking in Class | “People will laugh at me.” | Stay silent |
| Expressing Emotion | “Men shouldn’t cry.” | Suppress feelings |
| Taking a New Course | “I’m too old to learn.” | Miss opportunity |
Your belief decides what you do and what you miss.
How to Identify Your Limiting Beliefs
The first step is noticing them. Most people carry limiting beliefs silently for years. You have to pause and listen to your inner dialogue.
Try putting your thoughts on paper. Not to judge them but to see them clearly
Each night, write down:
What scared me today?
What held me back?
What thought kept coming up?
Patterns will appear. You’ll see the same fears again and again.
Ask Simple “Why” Questions
Let’s say you think: “I can’t speak in meetings.”
Ask yourself:
Why do I think that?
When did I first feel this way?
Is it always true?
Who told me this?
What if it’s wrong?
This is how you gently reach the root of your belief.
Steps to Overcome Limiting Beliefs
Once you see the belief, you can challenge it. You don’t have to “fight” your thoughts. You just need to question them and replace them with better ones.
Challenge the Thought
Use this 3-step method:
Catch it – Notice the belief.
Question it – Ask: Is this 100% true?
Change it – Replace it with a helpful thought.
Example:
Old belief: “I’m not smart enough to study psychology.”
New belief: “I can learn at my own pace. Everyone starts somewhere.”
Replace with Affirmations
Think of affirmations like a gentle reminder to yourself something real, not cheesy. Words you’d say to your best friend on a rough day.
Use simple, emotional language.
Examples:
I am enough.
I trust myself.
I’m allowed to try and fail.
I don’t need to prove my worth to anyone.
It’s okay to grow slowly.
Say them in the morning. Write them on sticky notes. Repeat them out loud while walking.
Practice Self-Compassion
Here’s the truth: You can’t hate yourself into changing. You need kindness.
Instead of saying “I’m so stupid,” say “I made a mistake. That’s okay. I’ll try again.”
Be kind to yourself like you would be to a child learning something new. That kindness does more healing than you think.
How to Change Long-Held Beliefs
Some beliefs feel like they’re written in stone. Especially if you’ve believed them for 10, 20, or 30 years. But change is still possible.
Change the Environment
Your brain soaks up the energy around you. If everyone around you limits themselves, you will too.
Spend time with:
Supportive friends
Motivated peers
Books, podcasts, or videos that inspire growth
Even small shifts in your surroundings can make a big impact.
Use Visualization
Close your eyes and imagine a day where you are free of that belief.
How would you act?
What would you say?
How would you walk, smile, or speak?
When you imagine this often, your brain starts building confidence from the inside.
Affirmations to Get Rid of Limiting Beliefs
You don’t need a long list. Just a few lines that feel like they’re speaking to your heart are more than enough.
Here’s a good starter list:
I am capable and calm.
My past does not define me.
I am not too late.
I am not too broken.
I am learning to trust myself.
I can succeed in my own way.
I am not afraid of mistakes.
Repeat them daily even if you don’t fully believe them yet.
Final Tips for Lasting Change
Changing beliefs is not about forcing yourself to “think positive.” It’s about choosing truth over fear one small moment at a time.
Be Consistent
You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to keep showing up.
Keep journaling.
Keep reflecting.
Keep repeating your affirmations.
Bit by bit, your brain will shift.
When to Get Help
Some beliefs are tied to deep pain or trauma. If trying to change them causes emotional distress, don’t hesitate to talk to a mental health professional.
Counselors, therapists, and psychologists can help you gently untangle your thoughts. That’s not weakness it’s wisdom.
Final Thought
If you’ve carried limiting beliefs for years, it’s not your fault. But it is your choice now whether to keep carrying them or to start letting them go.
You’re allowed to change, even if it’s slow. Even if you’ve believed the same thing for years. Every small shift matters. And every time you challenge a limiting belief, you’re one step closer to the version of yourself you were always meant to be.
Imran Shahzad, M.Sc. Psychology (BZU, 2012), shares real-world mental health tips and emotional guidance in simple English for everyday South Asian readers.