Social anxiety isn’t just nervousness. It’s a constant battle in the mind, one that affects how a person speaks, walks, eats, studies, and even smiles. In Pakistan, India, and other South Asian countries, where society often judges quickly and talks even faster, social anxiety can feel like being trapped in your own skin.
Let’s hear how it really feels. And what can be done about it.
What Does Social Anxiety Feel Like?
Imagine walking into a room full of relatives at a wedding, or classmates in a new tuition center. You want to greet someone or find a place to sit. But your heart races. Your palms sweat. Your legs freeze.
That’s social anxiety.
People often confuse it with simple shyness, but social anxiety is deeper. It’s not just about being quiet. It’s about fearing humiliation, that others will judge you, laugh at you, or think you’re stupid. This fear becomes so loud, it stops you from speaking up at work, answering questions in class, or even ordering food confidently.
In everyday South Asian settings, family dinners, school presentations, jummah gatherings, this anxiety silently chokes confidence.
Common feelings include:
Worrying for days before a small social event
Rehearsing simple greetings or conversations in your head
Avoiding eye contact to escape judgment
Blushing, sweating, or trembling even when saying “salaam”
Social anxiety creates a mental prison, and escaping takes courage.
Real-Life Stories: Voices from Our Community
Here are a few real stories (names changed for privacy):
“I skipped my cousin’s wedding.”
, Zainab, 21, Bahawalpur
“I knew I’d have to talk to people. So I stayed home and lied about being sick.”
“I failed my viva because I couldn’t speak.”
, Adeel, 24, Karachi
“My mind went blank. The examiner was kind, but I couldn’t say anything. I knew the answers, just couldn’t get the words out.”
“I only use WhatsApp audio, never call.”
, Mariam, 32, Lahore
“Phone calls make me panic. Even if it’s just ordering biryani, I’ll avoid it.”
“Even in the mosque, I feel people are watching how I pray.”
, Imran, 27, Faisalabad
“I try to be regular, but some days I miss just because I don’t want to be noticed.”
These are not rare cases. Many people reading this are living these same moments, silently.
How Social Anxiety Shapes Daily Life
It’s not just about avoiding big events. Social anxiety creeps into routine life. It affects how people:
Dress (to not attract attention)
Speak (quietly, or not at all)
Work (avoid group tasks or public praise)
Learn (too scared to ask questions)
Imagine a student who doesn’t ask for help because they fear looking foolish. Or a man who avoids job interviews because he can’t make eye contact. Or a mother who hesitates to speak at a parent-teacher meeting.
The cost of social anxiety is invisible, but high.
Even important relationships suffer:
Struggles with friendships (“They’ll think I’m boring.”)
Trouble expressing love or needs
Fear of being judged by in-laws or extended family
Bottom line: it creates isolation in a world full of people.
The Cultural Pressure: Why It’s Harder in South Asia
In our culture, where izzat (honor) and log kya kahenge? (what will people say?) still dominate conversations, social anxiety becomes more intense.
Here’s why:
Public speaking is seen as a sign of success
Expressing personal views, especially for girls, can be criticized
Mistakes or awkwardness are remembered and joked about for years
Elders often say “be confident” without realizing it’s not a button you can push
Even when someone wants to open up, mental health is still taboo in many homes. Parents may say:
“Beta, sab theek hai, tum soch zyada karte ho.”
“Don’t be weak. Have faith.”
“Stop acting different in front of people.”
These responses, though well-meaning, often worsen the anxiety.
This is why culturally aware mental health education is so important.
Emotional Impact: Low Self-Esteem and Mental Strain
Over time, social anxiety chips away at a person’s identity.
They begin to feel:
Ashamed of who they are
Powerless in group settings
Exhausted from constantly pretending
Lonely, even in a crowd
This can lead to deeper issues like:
Chronic self-doubt
Low self-worth
Depression
Substance abuse in extreme cases
They may become hyper-aware of every flaw. “Did I speak too fast? Did they notice my hands were shaking? Should I have laughed at that joke?”
This inner dialogue becomes a bully, whispering failure, embarrassment, and fear 24/7.
And no one hears it but them.
How to Cope: Practical Tips from Psychology
Here are steps that really help, especially in our culture:
1. Start Small
Speak one sentence in a meeting. Ask one shopkeeper a price. Small victories build courage.
2. Breathe Before Speaking
Use the 4-7-8 technique: Inhale 4 seconds, hold 7, exhale 8. It calms the nervous system.
3. Prepare & Practice
If you know you have to talk, prepare key lines. Practice in front of a mirror or record yourself.
4. Challenge the Thought
Ask yourself: What’s the worst that can happen? Will this matter in 6 months?
5. Don’t Avoid Everything
The more you avoid, the scarier it gets. Accept small discomfort. That’s how confidence grows.
6. Use Urdu/Hindi Affirmations
Example:
“Main theek hoon.” (I am okay.)
“Mujhe apne aap par bharosa hai.” (I trust myself.)
Speaking in your native language builds emotional connection.
7. Create a Support System
Have one friend, cousin, or teacher who understands. Talk to them regularly.
These are tools, not instant fixes. But with practice, life becomes easier.
When and How to Seek Help
You don’t need to hit rock bottom to see a counselor. If your anxiety:
Affects your daily life
Stops you from basic interactions
Makes you feel worthless or exhausted
…it’s time to reach out.
In Pakistan, many mental health professionals offer online sessions through platforms like Oladoc, Marham, and even Instagram pages. Some universities offer free counseling.
Therapy in Urdu or Punjabi is available. Many therapists understand the cultural pressures you’re facing.
It’s not weakness. It’s wisdom.
You deserve to feel safe in your own skin.
You’re Not Alone: A Message of Hope
If you’ve ever walked into a room and immediately wanted to disappear…
If you’ve skipped a wedding, class, or job interview because of fear…
If you’ve felt “I’m the only one like this…”
You are not alone.
Many readers of this article, students, mothers, teachers, shopkeepers, are silently living the same life. Some have begun healing. Some are still struggling.
But all of us are human.
Courage doesn’t mean being fearless. It means feeling the fear, and still trying.
TL;DR
Social anxiety is more than shyness, it’s a constant fear of judgment that affects daily life, especially in South Asian cultures where public opinion is strong. Through real stories and cultural context, this article explains the emotional toll of social anxiety and how it affects relationships, education, and confidence. It offers practical coping tips, emotional support, and encourages seeking help when needed. You are not alone, and improvement is possible, one step at a time.
Imran Shahzad, M.Sc. Psychology (BZU, 2012), shares real-world mental health tips and emotional guidance in simple English for everyday South Asian readers.