Every person goes through some form of cultural transition, big or small. It might happen when moving from a rural village to a city, going abroad for education, marrying into a different family background, or even adapting to modern values within the same society. These personal journeys affect the way we think, behave, and feel about ourselves and others.
A study by the American Psychological Association highlights that cultural shifts deeply influence emotional well-being, identity, and family relationships. In South Asia, where traditions are strong and family roles are fixed, even small changes can feel overwhelming. But these experiences, if understood and managed well, often lead to emotional maturity and stronger mental health.
Let’s look at how people experience cultural shifts, what emotions are involved, and how they learn to accept and grow from them.
What Is a Cultural Shift?
A cultural shift happens when a person enters an environment where the beliefs, customs, or social behaviors are different from what they’re used to. This shift can be sudden or gradual. It can come from:
Moving to a new region or country
Marriage into a different family system
Changing schools or jobs with different value systems
Adopting new lifestyles like digital life vs traditional living
For example, a girl raised in a traditional joint family in Multan may face cultural shock when she marries into a nuclear family in Karachi where everyone eats at different times and speaks more freely. The difference isn’t only about food or language, it’s about expectations, body language, and even the way emotions are expressed.
These shifts affect our identity because we’re used to behaving in familiar ways. When those behaviors don’t “fit” anymore, we feel confused, judged, or even lost. That’s where emotional tension begins.
Real Stories of Cultural Adjustment
1. Raza’s Move from Sialkot to Toronto
Raza was 23 when he got a student visa for Canada. The excitement of a better future faded quickly. People spoke fast English. Nobody cared if he had eaten or not. No one asked about his family. In Pakistan, neighbors knew everything, sometimes too much. In Toronto, he felt invisible.
At first, Raza resisted the culture. He missed roti, chai, and family arguments. But over time, he joined a South Asian student group, cooked at home, and slowly accepted that independence meant doing things alone, not being lonely.
2. Areeba’s Urban Marriage
Areeba grew up in a small town near Bahawalpur. Her in-laws in Lahore lived differently, open conversations, no “Dupatta must” rule, and working women being the norm. She felt judged and quiet. But her husband helped her adapt slowly, explaining things, supporting her decisions, and giving her space.
Within a year, she was not only accepted, she was thriving. Her emotional growth was visible in her body language and her ability to speak confidently in family events.
These stories show that resistance is natural, but with time, support, and emotional tools, people can adapt without losing themselves.
Psychological Impact of Cultural Change
Cultural change doesn’t only affect behavior, it shakes our emotions. Common reactions include:
Confusion – “Why do they act like this?”
Anxiety – “What if I’m not accepted?”
Sadness – Missing old traditions or home
Shame or guilt – Feeling like you’re betraying your roots
Psychologists call this phase culture shock, and it often moves in 4 stages:
Honeymoon Phase – Everything feels exciting and new.
Rejection Phase – The excitement fades; differences start to bother.
Adjustment Phase – Emotional balance starts returning.
Acceptance Phase – The person integrates both cultures.
In South Asian families, especially, there’s often pressure to stay “true” to one’s background. But emotional health improves when we allow ourselves to grow beyond those borders, rather than staying stuck in guilt or fear.
The Role of Cultural Humility
Cultural humility means accepting that our own way is not the only way. It’s about being curious and respectful toward unfamiliar traditions and lifestyles, even when we don’t fully agree with them.
Let’s take an example.
When Zunaira, a young Karachi-based psychologist, started working in a rural school in Tharparkar, she initially struggled. The kids behaved differently. Parents didn’t value therapy. She felt frustrated. But instead of forcing change, she started listening, eating local food, learning the dialect, and building trust.
That is cultural humility.
It’s not weakness. It’s strength, the kind that says, “I don’t need to be right; I want to understand.”
This mindset helps reduce conflict, encourages connection, and supports inner peace during cultural shifts.
Practical Ways to Cope with Cultural Change
Not every journey comes with a guide. But these simple strategies can help anyone going through a cultural shift:
Accept the Discomfort
It’s okay to feel lost. Don’t rush yourself to fit in instantly.Journal Regularly
Write about your feelings. It helps untangle emotional confusion.Find a Cultural Bridge Person
Someone who understands both cultures can explain, guide, and support you.Mix, Don’t Erase
Keep your values alive while learning new ones. It’s not either/or.Practice Mindfulness
Stay grounded in the present, especially when emotions run high.Use Humor to Cope
Laughing at awkward moments (instead of shaming yourself) eases the emotional load.Talk to Someone
Share your experiences with someone who listens without judgment.
These methods build emotional resilience, making it easier to grow through change instead of breaking under it.
Family and Society’s Role in Supporting Change
Cultural journeys become smoother when the environment is supportive.
Families can do this by:
Avoiding harsh comparisons – “In our days, things were better” hurts more than it helps.
Encouraging independence – Especially for daughters or daughters-in-law adapting to new households.
Being emotionally available – Ask how they feel. Not just how they’re doing.
Society can help by:
Creating open-minded workplaces
Celebrating diversity in schools and communities
Promoting local role models who’ve adapted well
When emotional space is given, people adapt better. When they’re mocked or pressured, they retreat, and that’s where long-term mental health issues begin.
When to Seek Professional Help
Sometimes, cultural change brings emotional overwhelm. You may experience:
Ongoing sadness or anger
Feeling stuck between two identities
Panic attacks or fear in social situations
Withdrawal from friends or family
These are not signs of weakness, they are signs of strain.
If you’re facing these, talking to a counselor or therapist can help. In Pakistan, many culturally-sensitive psychologists now offer affordable or free sessions (online or in-person).
It’s okay to say, “I need help understanding myself.”
It’s the first step to healing.
Embracing Change With Confidence
Cultural shifts are part of life, especially in a fast-changing world like ours. You may start by feeling lost, but in the process, you often find your real self.
Accepting cultural change is not about forgetting where you come from. It’s about adding new layers to who you are.
You can eat biryani and also like pizza. You can wear a shalwar kameez and enjoy Western music. You can stay emotionally close to your roots and still grow into new spaces.
When you stop fighting change, and start listening, learning, and feeling, you don’t lose your identity.
You expand it.
TL;DR:
Cultural shifts can be emotionally challenging but also deeply transformative. Whether it’s moving cities, marrying into a different family, or adjusting to modern norms, personal growth happens when we approach change with humility and openness. Real-life stories show that with support, self-awareness, and practical strategies, anyone can adapt without losing their roots. Accepting cultural change is not about erasing identity, it’s about expanding it.
Imran Shahzad, M.Sc. Psychology (BZU, 2012), shares real-world mental health tips and emotional guidance in simple English for everyday South Asian readers.