In Pakistan, over 50% of students admit to avoiding opportunities because they’re afraid to fail. Whether it’s not applying for a scholarship, skipping a job interview, or staying silent in class, fear of failure quietly shapes our lives more than we realize. And in our culture where success is often praised publicly and failure is handled privately this fear becomes a mental wall.
But here’s the truth: fear of failure is natural. And it’s manageable. You don’t have to stay stuck.
Let’s break down what this fear really is and how you can start overcoming it in real, practical ways.
What Is the Fear of Failure and Why Do We Feel It?
Fear of failure isn’t laziness or weakness. It’s a learned response often formed in childhood when mistakes were met with punishment, shame, or embarrassment.
In many South Asian homes, children grow up hearing things like:
“What will people say?”
“Top marks only matter.”
“Don’t waste our investment in you.”
This pressure creates a mindset where failure feels like personal rejection, not just a temporary setback.
Psychologists call this “atychiphobia” the fear of failing to such an extent that it stops you from trying. And it’s more common than you think.
The Real Impact of Fear on Mental and Emotional Health
When you’re constantly afraid to fail, your brain stays in a stress state. You may:
Procrastinate (put off work to avoid judgment)
Overthink (paralyzed by “what ifs”)
Avoid challenges (stick to the safe zone)
Lose confidence (feel like you’re not good enough)
Feel anxious or even depressed
For students, this can mean not attempting competitive exams. For professionals, it may look like staying in a dead-end job just to avoid risk. Over time, this fear limits your potential not because you’re not capable, but because you’re afraid to try.
5 Practical Ways to Overcome the Fear of Failure
Here’s what works not just in books, but in real life:
1. Accept That Failing Is Human
Every successful person has failed. The difference is they didn’t stop there.
Think of Abdul Sattar Edhi, who was once mocked for his simplicity, or Arfa Karim, who faced rejection before becoming the youngest Microsoft Certified Professional. Failure didn’t define them. It refined them.
Accepting failure as part of growth helps remove shame. Say it aloud: “I can fail and still be valuable.”
2. Challenge the “What If I Fail?” Thought
When your brain says, “What if I fail?”, respond with:
“What if I learn something useful?”
“What if I succeed more than expected?”
“What if I survive and grow?”
Fear lives in unanswered questions. Give your mind better answers.
3. Focus on Effort, Not Just Outcome
We’re taught to only celebrate results marks, promotions, trophies. But that thinking increases fear.
Start celebrating effort.
Did you try something new today?
Did you show up despite anxiety?
Did you stay calm during a hard task?
These are wins. Effort-focused thinking keeps you mentally strong and reduces the pressure of perfection.
4. Learn From Setbacks, Don’t Label Yourself
Failing an exam doesn’t make you a failure. Losing money doesn’t mean you’re useless. Struggling in a relationship doesn’t mean you’re unlovable.
Instead of saying, “I’m bad at this,” say:
“I didn’t prepare enough this time.”
“I’ll try a new method next round.”
“This experience taught me something.”
Failure becomes a lesson when you stop making it your identity.
5. Surround Yourself with Encouraging Voices
Sometimes, fear grows because of who we listen to. If people constantly judge, mock, or shame your efforts your confidence dies.
Look for those who say:
“It’s okay to try again.”
“You don’t need to be perfect.”
“Your effort matters.”
This could be a friend, teacher, parent, or even a mentor online. Your support system shapes your risk-taking ability.
Common Myths About Failure That Hold You Back
Here are some lies many of us grew up with:
| Myth | Truth |
|---|---|
| “Failure means you’re not smart.” | Failure often shows you’re learning something new. |
| “People will laugh if I fail.” | Most people are too busy with their own lives to care. |
| “Once you fail, you’re done.” | Most success stories include multiple failures. |
| “You only get one chance.” | Life offers many chances if you stay open to them. |
Let go of these myths. They’re not rules. They’re old fears pretending to be wisdom.
When Fear of Success and Fear of Failure Mix
Strange, but true some people fear succeeding as much as they fear failing.
Why?
Because success comes with:
Higher expectations
More visibility
More responsibility
Fear of not being able to keep it up
In Pakistani culture, where “log kya kahenge” dominates our decisions, even success can feel heavy. You might fear jealousy, gossip, or pressure.
If this sounds like you, remind yourself:
You’re allowed to grow.
You’re allowed to shine without shame.
You don’t owe your silence to others’ comfort.
Success doesn’t have to feel like a burden when you allow yourself to enjoy it.
Real Stories of People Who Failed…Then Succeeded
💡 Salman, a student from Faisalabad, failed his university entrance test twice. Instead of quitting, he worked as a tutor for a year, saved money, and tried again. On his third attempt, he not only passed he ranked in the top 50.
💡 Mehwish, a single mother from Lahore, failed in her first business attempt selling homemade snacks. She learned how to market better, changed her pricing, and now runs a home kitchen with regular clients.
💡 Ammar, a young man from Karachi, froze during a job interview and didn’t get hired. But he practiced mock interviews for weeks and finally landed a better job with more benefits.
Failures are not full stops they’re commas in your story.
You Are Bigger Than One Mistake
We all fear failure. But you don’t have to stay afraid.
Each time you try again, speak kindly to yourself, and take even one step forward you are proving that failure doesn’t define you.
Success is not perfection. It’s progress.
So breathe. Try. Learn. Repeat.
You’re not failing. You’re growing.
TL;DR
Fear of failure is common, especially in cultures with high expectations and public shame. But it can be reduced with real-life steps: accept that failure is normal, challenge negative thoughts, focus on effort, learn from setbacks, and build a supportive environment. Let go of harmful myths and remember your worth isn’t tied to results. Every mistake is a chance to grow stronger.
Imran Shahzad, M.Sc. Psychology (BZU, 2012), shares real-world mental health tips and emotional guidance in simple English for everyday South Asian readers.