Domestic violence is a painful reality that many face behind closed doors. In South Asia, the issue is complicated by culture, shame, dependency, and fear. According to the UN, nearly 1 in 3 women globally have experienced physical or sexual violence at some point in their lives. In countries like Pakistan, India, and Bangladesh, thousands of survivors endure violence not just from partners, but also in-laws, extended family, or even their own relatives.
But some speak up. Some survive, escape, and rebuild.
This article shares real stories of survivors, how they coped, what challenges they faced, and what helped them move forward. If you or someone you love is going through something similar, know that you are not alone, and healing is possible.
What It Means to Be a Survivor of Domestic Violence
Being a survivor isn’t only about escaping violence, it’s about living through it, mentally and emotionally. Many survivors stay in abusive homes for years before seeking help. They are often told to “adjust” for the sake of marriage, children, or family honor.
Common signs a survivor has lived through abuse:
They flinch at raised voices.
They constantly apologize.
They hesitate to make decisions.
They doubt their self-worth.
In South Asian culture, the cycle of abuse is often hidden. It starts with rising tension, followed by an incident of violence, then a short “honeymoon phase” where the abuser apologizes or promises to change, before it begins again. This cycle traps victims in hope and fear.
Why people stay:
Fear of being shamed
Financial dependence
No support system
Fear of losing children
Pressure from elders to “save the marriage”
Being a survivor means carrying silent wounds. But survival is strength, and the first step to healing is speaking out.
Voices from the Shadows: Real-Life Survivor Stories
Story 1: A Mother’s Escape for Her Daughter’s Future
Location: Lahore, Pakistan
“I didn’t want my daughter to think abuse is love.”
Saima*, 28, endured four years of marriage filled with control, slaps, and emotional torture. Her husband isolated her from friends, monitored her phone, and insulted her for not having a son. After he hit her while she was pregnant, she knew she had to leave.
A younger brother secretly helped her reach a lawyer. She stayed in a shelter for 3 months and finally got custody of her daughter.
Today, Saima works as a receptionist. Her daughter goes to school smiling.
“I didn’t save myself, I saved both of us.”
Story 2: Living Through Verbal Abuse in a Joint Family
Location: Hyderabad, India
Priya*, 33, never had bruises on her body, but her heart carried deep scars.
“My mother-in-law called me sterile for five years. My husband never said a word. I cried in the bathroom every day.”
Verbal abuse is harder to prove but just as damaging. Priya lived in a house with constant taunts, guilt, and manipulation. She wasn’t allowed to work or visit her own parents. Eventually, her health declined due to stress and anxiety.
Through a Facebook support group, she connected with a therapist who counseled her via WhatsApp. With therapy, she found courage to start tutoring children at home and gained small independence.
Story 3: A Man Speaks Out
Location: Karachi, Pakistan
Shahbaz*, 35, is one of the few men in Pakistan who openly speaks about being abused by his wife.
“She hit me when I didn’t do what she said. She would lock the door and throw things. But when I told someone, they laughed.”
Domestic abuse against men is rarely taken seriously in South Asia. Shahbaz felt shame and confusion. After talking to a counselor, he understood it was emotional and physical abuse.
He eventually filed for divorce and now advocates for men’s mental health in local community meetings.
Coping With Domestic Violence: How Do Survivors Heal?
Healing is not quick. For many, it takes years to feel safe in their own skin.
Psychological impact of domestic violence:
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Panic attacks or nightmares
Low self-esteem
Depression and anxiety
Social withdrawal
Coping strategies survivors found helpful:
Grounding exercises: Breathing techniques or touching objects to feel present
Keeping a journal: Writing down thoughts helps process pain
Therapy: Even online or voice-based sessions in Urdu/Hindi made a difference
Religious/spiritual practices: Praying, reading Quran or scriptures gave hope
Support groups: Safe spaces with others who “understand” the pain
A major factor in healing is believing that the abuse was not your fault.
Common Challenges Survivors Face in South Asian Cultures
Even after leaving the abusive home, survivors face daily challenges that delay healing.
Social Challenges:
Being blamed by relatives: “You must have done something wrong.”
Isolation from family and friends who side with the abuser
Gossip and reputation damage
Financial Challenges:
No job or income
No access to bank accounts or property
Single mothers with no child support
Legal Challenges:
Delayed court hearings
Corruption or bias in favor of husbands
No legal aid in rural areas
Emotional Challenges:
Shame and guilt
Feeling like a burden
Fear of future relationships
Despite all this, survivors fight every day to reclaim their life.
What Do Survivors of Domestic Violence Truly Need?
Survivors don’t just need rescue. They need recovery. And that starts with a community that supports, not judges.
Here’s what they truly need:
| Need Type | Examples |
|---|---|
| Emotional | Validation, safe space to talk, gentle encouragement |
| Mental | Trauma-informed therapy, stress management tools |
| Social | Friendships, support groups, family acceptance |
| Legal & Practical | Protection orders, custody help, job skills training |
One safe person can change a life.
Even if it’s just a neighbor who listens, a teacher who notices, or a boss who checks in, it can give survivors the courage to go on.
Hope, Strength, and Moving Forward
The journey from victim to survivor is full of fear, confusion, and silent pain. But survivors are not broken. They are brave.
Many of them go on to:
Raise strong, emotionally aware children
Support others in similar situations
Create awareness in schools, mosques, or local clinics
Build careers that give them independence
One woman who escaped abuse now runs a WhatsApp counseling service. A man who was mocked for speaking out now trains police officers in empathy.
Their pain became power.
TL;DR
Domestic violence survivors in South Asia often face unique emotional, cultural, and financial challenges. Real-life stories reveal how some escape abuse, cope with trauma, and rebuild their lives with support from family, therapy, or self-help. Survivors need validation, emotional safety, and practical resources, not judgment. Their stories are proof that healing and strength are possible, even after deep hurt.
Imran Shahzad, M.Sc. Psychology (BZU, 2012), shares real-world mental health tips and emotional guidance in simple English for everyday South Asian readers.